MARRIAGE - Through the Eyes of a Girl

I asked myself and many people around me the perks of getting married; the following were my findings:

A girl has to get married so that she can give birth to the next generation and sustain the lineage. Really? Is it important to give birth to a kid, in a country fighting against the booming population. Is it important to give birth to a kid when you know that there are kids out their who just need someone to call as family?

A girl should get married so that there is someone to take care of her. After all the cooking, cleaning , washing clothes , buying grocery, setting up house and taking care of kids; is a girl getting the care of someone or is she taking care of someone?

A girl should get married so that she gets companionship in life. What are pets for then? A dog/ cat who is there by your side all day long provides the best companionship that no man in the world can provide. To be honest, most of the guys in the world need their space, I mean everyday. They want to spend time with their friends or need to be alone most of the time except at night when suddenly they have their need for companionship from their wives.

A girl should get married because on her own, she can't pay the bills. A strong independent ambitious girl can reach anywhere in life and can earn equivalent to or more than her male counterparts. So she doesn't need a man who is just an ATM with free cash to run her home.

A girl should get married because there won't be anyone to take care of her when she is old.What are old age homes for then? Anyone who has enough savings can enroll in a good old age home and get the care she wants.

So, don't tell me that a girl should get married in this world where we fight for woman empowerment and equal rights. No girl is weak and no man is required to complete or fulfill the needs of a girl.

MARRIAGE - A Social Bondage?

The day a girl child is born, parents start dreaming(and worrying) of the day she would be getting married. Even if they are not worried, the society forces them to think about it- " You have a daughter! Start saving for her marriage". Do I pity the parents(including mine) ? Yes , I do!

Is there anything wrong with the society or is this the way it is supposed to be? I firmly believe that latter is not the case. People have to learn to mind their own business. People have to learn that instead of forcing parents to dream about their newborn daughters marriage; they should learn to let the parents be parents- creating memories with their daughter and dreaming of her happiness.

Not every woman dreams of getting married and having kids at a very young age. Not every woman thinks that if she crosses 30, she would become too old to have demand in marriage market( apparently this is what some well educated people think).Not every woman wants to compromise on her dreams to fuel the dreams of the society. Not every woman thinks that marriage is the only means to make her parents happy. Not every woman wants her parents to spend their entire hard earned money on her wedding.

The dream of every parents would have been to see their daughter standing on her feet, taking decisions on her own, achieving her dreams and being happy. But, Society your love of interfering in other's business, polluted their lives and her's. So, Society please shut the **** up and get lost! My advice to you: broaden up your narrow mind.

Let every woman chase her dreams and find her happiness. Let her decide what she has to do in life . Live and let live!
PS: "Society" mentioned in the above post stands for everyone other than parents and siblings.

RELIGION - A Question for Many

"What is your religion/caste?"

Well, this is a question that I have heard multiple times as I grew up, be it in my school or neighborhood. I am admitting that I too had indulged in this heinous crime of asking this question in my childhood.

As I grew up and learned about the world around me through books, newspapers and people , through the sacrifice of thousands in Babri Masjid demolition in Ayodhya, riots in Gujarat , the Marad massacre in my native and countless heart wrenching incidents across the world, I understood religion is fire : It burns people to death.

Somewhere along, I exited my caged world and entered into an open world.In my closed world, I used to go to the temple daily and thought about people in terms of religion/caste. In my new world, I learned that bathing in Ganges or pilgrimages to countless temples will not purify me from the sins I have committed. Its just a means to forcibly convince myself that I have been forgiven. The truth is, what I sow, I shall reap.

I will be more than happy to go to a temple / a church / any religious institution because I believe these are the only existing quiet places where one can meditate and be peaceful. I can sit and retrospect what I have done and what I could do. It will be my places for learning myself.

We are all the same, but why so many boundaries? Caste based reservation, filling in my religion/ caste in all the countless forms, well, all these disgust me. I don't care what your caste or creed is, I don't care where you are from or what color is your skin, I just care if you are a human being with a kind, empathetic heart and an open mind.

Humanity is my religion!!

DRINK BUT DON'T DRIVE

It has been 15 years since my cousin died. I was a kid then but it seems like yesterday that it all happened.

He was in his early twenties and yes ;could be described as " the young blood " in our family . He was the one who taught me to cycle. I kept complaining to him how short and weak I was. So he came up with the plan of getting me a punching bag( that too filled with sand) so that I could be stronger; also a wooden bar for me to do pull ups so that I became taller. This plan dint go well as planned because I was in the boarding at that time. So here I am, short and not too strong.

The construction of our new house was going on so there were lot of things lying around our house. Besides this; there were thefts happening in the neighborhood. All these resulted in my cousin staying at our house with my mom and maternal grandmother.

He used to come very late at night after work. In spite of my mom telling many times to sleep inside the house, he insisted on putting a bed in the sit-out so that he could sleep without waking up anyone as soon as he came back.

On that eventful night, by midnight my mom and granny heard the sound of someone moving the bed around. So they got up and called out to my brother. They did not get any reply but still could hear someone getting the bed ready. They waited for his response and after a while, they thought he might be too tired and must have slept off.

Next morning, the house was awakened by a phone call informing that my brother had passed away in an accident the previous night. My mom was shocked and she dint believe it. She went outside and checked the bed, " it was empty".This was something that baffled us for a long time . Do people live even after their deaths?? Somewhere in my mind, I know that he was reminded of our home even after he died.

The biggest shock came after his death. We came to know that he was pitch drunk when his bike hit on a stationary bus and it was difficult to pull out his body from it. The person we knew never drank and this was not possible. All the respect that I had for him dipped when I realized how much people around me were hurt when they came to know of all the facts about his life.

So, before we do anything in our life, ask a lot of questions. If we are going to do something that cannot be shared with our loved ones, that requires lot of lies to cover up, don't proceed. Stop right there!! I have seen a family wither away in front of my eyes. Its not a great feeling.

And all those people out there, who drink and drive: its not daring but utter foolishness. If you don't value your life, you are insane. Unfortunately there are others who value your life, think about them. You are not forever dauntless; you are not unbeatable; you are just a human being. So be HUMAN!!

DREAMS

Neither the dreams nor the hopes were mine,
They were all pushed into my world,
By the unparalleled bonds of the earth,
With no means to resist its strength,
It dawned on me, the pain of the miseries untold,
Too strong to make me whine.


Nothing in my life is genuine,
Not even the smile that plays in my eyes,
For deep beneath it lies , the truths of my life,
Every glance reflects the helplessness of my life,
The remains of my trampled dreams,
The dreams that were solely mine.

Here I am, staggering beneath the burden,
With the weight of the hopes,pinning me down,
I hope nothing goes wrong in the path ahead,
For every second,is worth more than a story read,
And I don't want to end up as a clown,
But a girl with a boon from heaven.

WISH

Pic Courtesy : Soumya

I wish I could tell you what I feel,
But worldly bonds choke me every time .
With wounds that time cant heal,
My heart does forget its beats at times.


I wish that the whole world was one,
But everyday a new barrier is born,
With the power to enslave everyone,
Each day it strengthens its throne.

I wish I knew what I can do,
To put an end to its mighty rule.
With the biggest task to do,
I now realize, life has turned me into a fool.

I wish I could tell you how I care,
But I don't want to make you cry in the end.
With every second I love you even more
And it will remain the same till my end..