HOME - Where My Heart Is

Pic Courtesy : Soumya

Someone said home is where the heart is. People can interpret that in various ways but for me , home is the " only " place where my heart is and I am me.

No matter where I go in search of peace or freedom, the moment my feet touches my home; I know I am finally where I should be and I have found peace.

My favorite time of a typical day at home is when I sit outside and look at the sky. May be my eyes are tricking me or they are seeing what my heart wants to see. Whatever be it;I always feel that sky has never been brighter and bluish ; the trees have never been greener; water has never been cooler and love has never been so unconditional than at home.

Its true that rain has always been my first love. When it rains, the love for my home multiplies on its own. The smell of soil, freshly wet from the rain fills me with a sense of warmth like that of a nature's embrace. I love the raindrops kissing my face and the gentle music it plays on the leaves. Its ecstasy!!
This is the beauty of home, a place where people don't build walls around them or mark boundaries fancily termed as personal spaces, a place where people love being together and never get bored of each other, a place where fights happen but love is stronger. This is the only place where my heart is and will be forever.

DRINK BUT DON'T DRIVE

It has been 15 years since my cousin died. I was a kid then but it seems like yesterday that it all happened.

He was in his early twenties and yes ;could be described as " the young blood " in our family . He was the one who taught me to cycle. I kept complaining to him how short and weak I was. So he came up with the plan of getting me a punching bag( that too filled with sand) so that I could be stronger; also a wooden bar for me to do pull ups so that I became taller. This plan dint go well as planned because I was in the boarding at that time. So here I am, short and not too strong.

The construction of our new house was going on so there were lot of things lying around our house. Besides this; there were thefts happening in the neighborhood. All these resulted in my cousin staying at our house with my mom and maternal grandmother.

He used to come very late at night after work. In spite of my mom telling many times to sleep inside the house, he insisted on putting a bed in the sit-out so that he could sleep without waking up anyone as soon as he came back.

On that eventful night, by midnight my mom and granny heard the sound of someone moving the bed around. So they got up and called out to my brother. They did not get any reply but still could hear someone getting the bed ready. They waited for his response and after a while, they thought he might be too tired and must have slept off.

Next morning, the house was awakened by a phone call informing that my brother had passed away in an accident the previous night. My mom was shocked and she dint believe it. She went outside and checked the bed, " it was empty".This was something that baffled us for a long time . Do people live even after their deaths?? Somewhere in my mind, I know that he was reminded of our home even after he died.

The biggest shock came after his death. We came to know that he was pitch drunk when his bike hit on a stationary bus and it was difficult to pull out his body from it. The person we knew never drank and this was not possible. All the respect that I had for him dipped when I realized how much people around me were hurt when they came to know of all the facts about his life.

So, before we do anything in our life, ask a lot of questions. If we are going to do something that cannot be shared with our loved ones, that requires lot of lies to cover up, don't proceed. Stop right there!! I have seen a family wither away in front of my eyes. Its not a great feeling.

And all those people out there, who drink and drive: its not daring but utter foolishness. If you don't value your life, you are insane. Unfortunately there are others who value your life, think about them. You are not forever dauntless; you are not unbeatable; you are just a human being. So be HUMAN!!

TRAIN JOURNEY

15 hours of unbreakable silence! This is how I describe my usual back and forth train journey from my "hometown" to "work town". Most often I end up opting for the sleeper compartments rather than a.c compartments, the only reason being the cheaper fare. The stuffy air with the pungent smell from the latrines and the ongoing hustle and bustle of the passengers and small vendors made the journey less than exciting. I use the time to read as many books as I can or to simply stare out of the windows.

Pic Courtesy: RB

As a kid, I was fascinated by trains which was more attributed to the fact that I grew up in my mom's place that was close to railway tracks. We kids used to wave at all the trains that passed by and my ambition in life solely was: To travel in trains. I did not realize at that point of time that, train journeys were going to become an integral part of my life later on.

Two days ago, I got to fulfill my dream once again. It was raining continuously from morning and I had to travel in a train. It was a new experience: Train journey on a rainy day. It could be described as the best 15 hours of my train journeys. It was raining in each and every place that the train passed through. The air was cool and clean, you could just see green everywhere occasionally interspersed by rivers and rivulets. The heavily pregnant rain clouds added a charm that I cant describe.I realised two things:

How lucky am I to be born in Gods own country!!

How glad am I to be travelling in sleeper class!!

PS:: I think this(October) is the best time to visit Kerala, when nature is at its best!!

MY GRANDMOTHER

My paternal grandmother is a very strong lady and to be truthful, I attribute my stubbornness to her. I always point at my genetic makeup whenever my parents question me about my decisions. Well , I feel it is a blessing that I can always vouch that I am not the odd one in my family - all thanks to her. She is a couple of years closer to completing century with pure grey- whitish hair and a toothless smile.

As a kid, when mom used to go for work on Saturdays, she used to send us to our ancestral home( just 200 m behind our house) where our granny lived. I have grown up listening to the countless stories that she has told from Ramayana and Mahabharatha. In fact, I was madly in love with Lord Krishna and had firmly believed till the age of 10 that I will eventually get married to him. I used to pray so hard like the ladies in those stories so that he will appear in front of me and ask me to marry him.

When my pa was a kid, she had taken all her children and her sisters to some temple for a festival at night and they had to cross many fields to reach the temple. There was hardly any light and they were carrying kerosene lamps. Somewhere along the way, some drunkards were coming from the other side. So she tied her dress like a dhoti and walked so that in what little light was there, people would assume that there was a man with the kids and the ladies.

I can write about lots of instances like these. The crux of it is: To this day , she has remained strong and unafraid of anything, always has held up her head high and spoke her mind. She has seen the death of her four kids , grandson, husband and her sibling; still she has managed to overcome her sorrow with her typical " never will break apart" attitude.

That is what I try hard to become, to " never break apart" no matter what the situation is; and to always speak my mind !!

THE KRONICLES : The Ultimate Gains

Pic Courtesy:RB

With just days for me to step out of this institution, serious questions are arising in my mind. It is gladdening that finally I have learned to come up with questions for everything that goes around me, though I don't get answers for half of my queries.

The question that constantly nags me is what have I gained from the six years at college? This might not be a surprise question to many because I know that majority are with me in that. So, this is the account of my quest for its answer which started off right from the moment I began typing this out.

Six years! It passed so quickly by I hardly can forget each and every second of it. It was an experience that taught me what I should be and what I should not be. Fortunately or unfortunately, the latter list is the longest. I learned that it is hard to be what I am, because everywhere people are more concerned about how bad others are than of oneself. So unless one develops a very tough skin (get it patented first to avoid further troubles!!), it is difficult to be oneself. Hmm..

“Past experience, if not forgotten, is a guide to the future.”My first gain is the hoard of lessons I learned ((of course, not from the books!)).So what were the valuable lessons that I learned?

1.  Befriend yourself first, then think of befriending others. There are situations when you have no one but yourself, if you don’t want to be lonely, then be your friend first!!Because, you are the only person who knows you and sticks by you through thick and thin.

2.  You don’t have to prove to others anything. Ultimately, it’s you and your life. So, every time you fall, be happy that you have learned yet another lesson and that you are richer in lessons. In fact, I have fallen more than once and have been so adamant that I would not learn anything from it. I sulked and kept on blaming myself rather than thinking of the brighter side. Somewhere, I realized with the help of some wonderful teachers and friends, that whatever happens, I have to be me!!

3.   A true friend is the one who is there for you all the time, who believes that it is his duty to tell you that you are wrong when you have committed a blunder, the one who loves you for being YOU, with all the negative and positive traits, most importantly, the one who wants you to be a better person and wants you to succeed . So, when you have people clapping for you, even when you keep doing one mistake after another, ask once, to your heart “are they really my friends?”

4.  “All that smiles is not true”. There is good and bad in everything. But, when you have people around, who know to smile at others, and later talk ill of them, BE ALERT!! If they are doing this to others, they can do the same to you. These are the signals that will help you to understand that for the good of others, stay far from the “smileys”. Else, you will drown in their negative aura, and will be infected with the deadliest virus, nothing will seem right to you from then on.

5.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The more good you are, the greater the hurdles you have to face. Stay the same but be willing to change for the better.

These are the excerpts from a page of the epic of my college life. I guess these lessons are indeed a gain after the series of losses that incurred.

“One may have friends all over the world, but very few will truly know your heart.”This was the greatest realization, I ever had. The art of dealing with human character and thoughts is hard to learn. What makes it even more complex is that we are all are trying to live up to William Shakespeare’s words (in the opposite way that would have left even Shakespeare speechless!). “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts,” The only problem is that we are trying to play the many parts at the same time. Alas, there are no Oscars for this bit of finest acting.

All the above beating around the bush, finally leads me to the conclusion that my second gain is the few but trustworthy friends that I have amassed. When everything around me had gone wrong, more than once, I had my friends ((my guardian angels)) who constantly reminded that they were there for me. “When people are true friends, even shared water tastes sweet.” Some one very wise had written the above quote. In my case, I would like to add that the single bar of chocolate shared by many, in between classes were the sweetest!!

The third gain is the memories that I have, the bitter and the sweet!!Though at times I feel that life (or some people??) is unkind, I cannot ignore the memories that are enriching me. Memories are priceless, they have the magic to keep us alive on the dullest of days and to make us sad on the happiest days. How can I forget the small trips to some beautiful places with great friends, the classes when all are in their own worlds, the silly but funny games and pranks played, the jokes that can make only us laugh, the times when my friends begged me to stop the recital of my never ending tales so that they could get some rest to their ears (hey guys, I know that I have never granted your requests, but still, I don’t repent it. Because, we did get many moments to look back and laugh upon later in life)….memories are countless!!  It’s a treasure that is not trade -able. I cling on to it and will continue doing so!!

I guess I am lucky enough to realize my gains and jot it down, because I am feeling so overwhelmed. Even the seconds that passed by, had light years of gifts in store for me, most of which I did not care enough of, but some of which had more than enough care for me!! The list is not complete and never will it, but for the time being, these three make me a billionaire!! Thanks a zillion times to all those who have made me the richest. My college life is not just about me, it’s about the lives of who have touched my life in small but significant ways. And, this is for them for lighting up my life. Let not my words nor my memories fade away, because without these, I am incomplete!!

THE KRONICLES : The Extraordinary Lives of Extraordinary People

This could be termed as one of the many embarrassing incidents in my college life. In a way, it is not new to some of the girls out there, but, it was new to me until it happened for the first time. I still don't know how it happened or what led to what. Ultimately it happened, and I had to get used to it for many more times. 

Some girls accidentally enter the men's washroom. It is acceptable. It is a plain genuine mistake from their part. What if someone gets in there by external influences? Is that acceptable?Here is my story.

Pic Courtesy: RB

I had this harmful habit of irritating guys and getting into fights with them Half the time in college would be spent running around in college, either after a guy to pinch his skin off or before a guy who would be after my life. It was fun as long as I ended up winning. But, it happened rarely or to better put it, it never happened. It was always my short term goal that never was achieved.

"An idea can change your life". Well, it really changed mine. No apple fell on that  persons head like Newton's , neither was he lying in a tub like Archimedes, when this occurred to him. It is his sheer brilliance, I would say, that gave birth to the idea of locking me inside the gents washroom whenever I troubled him. ( I am discounting the fact that I was truly an inspiration to this person by making his life truly difficult with my angelic behavior ). That is how the saga of entering the guys washroom began.

It was just a routine on some of the days, with some calling me as the unofficial "gents loo inspector", to put it more artistically. What was the methodology of accomplishing this? It was quite simple and had just five steps. The technique could be compared to the way dogs were lured with bones. 

First Step:

One of my many opponents-cum-friends would become irritated by my antics, usually accompanied  by a small tug-of-war between the two of us. Often, joined by many on the other side and me fighting alone royally.

Second Step:

When the war was about to be lost, I always cashed in on the weapons I had: my really strong, sharp nails. That got them running.

Third Step:

The smell of a victory always boosted my energy. I ran behind them no matter how small my steps were or how slow my pace was or how funny my running was.

Fourth Step:

They conveniently got in the gents washroom and acted as perfect baits. I was lured by my lust for victory and would loiter near the area. The whole world could see me, but I was convinced that I was good at sneaking and spying on them.

Fifth Step:

During one of those vulnerable moments, I would be conveniently pulled into the washroom , the same time, they jumped out and locked the door from outside.

As quick as lightening, this all used to happen. Before I realized, I would be peeping out through the small glass window on the door, waiting for my freedom. 

The most embarrassing situation was when some other guy opened the door, and I walked out. Poor him, he must have been shocked and confused so much, that he went away without even entering the washroom. Second instance was when, I was pushed in and there was already some body inside. This time, I was shocked.

These were awkward moments, but when I look back now, I can do nothing but laugh till my stomach aches. I am not embarrassed to say " Thanks for the extraordinary " memories guys. I love you all.

NEVER TOO LATE

Its never too late to change,

When your life itself, appears to be strange,

I realise this, with mixed feelings,

Not sure of the future ,that is beckoning.

Puzzles are all , I have in my life,

Pricking me as heartlessly as a knife,

Solutions to these ,are still strangers,

I hope this does not ,end me in dangers.

A faint light in the horizon,I perceive,

That is the only impetus, I receive,

The walk to the end seems so long,

But,the urge to go on is too strong.

I don't want to be the best,

Nor to compete with the rest,

I just want to be the change,

Because, I know,its never too late to change...

BROTHER

Hard to describe,deep to search,
The more I ponder, the farther I reach.
What to think, what to write,
Words are not enough, to give my insight.

Weeks ago, we were worlds apart,
With no clue as to, what were to start.
Was it by chance or was it fate?
Somehow, I got into another state.

Dissimilar were we, in thousand ways,
But,once a bond is made,forever it stays.
No pen or paper, can etch its depth,
And, it is as precious as my each breath.

Somewhere along, into my life, you came,
Ever since that,nothing is the same.
Without you, no moment would be the best,
And always you have, stood apart from the rest.

For all the love and the care , you bestow,
How to thank, I hardly know.
You are the treasure, that I don't want to lose,
My only brother, I was so lucky to choose.

SISTER

I came to this world,not alone,
I had you ,ahead of me,showing the way,
Your every word to me, is a lesson,
That keeps me going,each day.


You hated seeing tears in my eyes,
Often I wondered ,how you could be so unkind,
Now,I realize,where your aim always lies,
You want me to grow up,with a strong mind.

You are the meaning of my life,
The true essence of what I am,
Your voice and your smile,light up my life,
With the glow that will never scram.

When my heart broke bit by bit,
You gathered it all up in your warm embrace,
Without "YOU" ,there is no "I", I admit,
You are the gem, that no one can replace.